Overcoming Fatigue and Lack of Motivation: 7 Empowering Self-Care Tips for Girlies that Have Zero Energy
Everything feels like too much, your motivation is in the toilet, and you feel like it’s hard to even get yourself off the couch. You are bone tired. You simply cannot today. We all have those days sometimes. For some, those days happen all too often. Perhaps you have been going on months of chronic stress, and it has left you feeling burnt out.
This kind of couch-locked exhaustion is also common for people who have anxiety, ADHD, depression, chronic illness, grief, some form of neurodivergence, and/or PTSD. You might be feeling fatigue, inconsistent energy levels, and unreliable bouts of motivation.
Regardless of the reason, it feels unbearable to be so depleted that you can't even do the things you would need to do to feel better.
So…What do we do when the things we need to do to feel better feel too hard?
Listen to Your Thoughts
Your thoughts might be able to give you a clue as to why you’re struggling. Step back and try to observe them like passing clouds. You are like a naturalist watching them go by. Are they moving fast? Slow? Are they clear or hazy? Do they feel like they are racing? Is there a pattern to your thinking? Try to name the emotions and notice the types of thoughts you are having. Remember that you are not your thoughts, and it is safe to notice them. Sometimes that is all they ever needed to be able to pass along. This kind of thought process is the basis of a type of therapy called ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).
2. Move Your Body
Try to get some movement in. Moving your body can break up whatever thought process you feel stuck in. If you feel you can't get up, try simply stretching your arms, neck, hands, and legs. Give your hands or feet a massage. Try to take a few breaths. The key is to do something. You don't have to judge whether it is enough, and you can always start small and work up from there if you feel like you want to move more. If you feel up to it, go for a walk or get some exercise in. Moving your body can give you more energy!
3. Clean Up a Bit
Perhaps our moms were right on this one. Your environment plays a huge role in the way you feel. This is especially true if you have sensory sensitivities (I see my girlies with ADHD, Autism, High-sensitivity). You may have even gotten a little behind on things around the house. Who isn't? Taking some time to clean up the space around you can help you regain a sense of control in your environment and build up your motivation.
A simple task such as clearing the top of your nightstand, picking up trash for 10 minutes, or finishing the dishes in the sink is enough. Completing a task will trick your brain into feeling accomplished, and the more accomplished you feel, the more your brain wants to accomplish.
This also can work to boost your self-esteem. Nobody feels like a princess when everything around them is a mess. Treat yourself like the queen that you are and get to it. As my mom used to say, "aqui no hay sirvienta" (We don't have any servants here). For women, the task falls on us too often, but it's double the punishment to drown in it. You will feel so much better if you can just do a little, and you'll be surprised how it usually leads to more. Remember: imperfectly done is better than piling up, and a little is better than nothing.
4. Make a List
Maybe you are not really sure where to start. Your concerns are hitting you way too fast, and it all feels equally important. If you don't even know where to begin, it might be time to make an old-fashioned pen and paper list. Making a list can help you conceptualize what needs to happen in a concrete way. It's physical, it's on paper, and you can cross things off as they happen. Visually seeing all your tasks on paper can help you process that what you need to do is, in fact, doable. If you find yourself writing a three-page list, you know it's time to dial back those expectations. A simple post-it note should cover it for one day. Nobody is staying up for 24 hours to get all that done. Pick your top 3 priorities and bookmark the rest for later.
5. Focus on what you want
Sometimes feeling trapped in bed or on the couch can be related to feelings of sadness, loneliness, or grief. It can be hard to even consider wanting to do anything at all. If it is that dark down in there, try to think of anything at all that you would want to do. Forget the crushing weight of everything else. Start with anything you really want. These are the days that your inner child needs a big hug and some playtime. Try to remember things that made you smile when you were 10 years old and reach for something like that. Maybe it's watching an old cartoon, blowing some bubbles, or getting an ice cream bar at CVS. When you are feeling hopeless, it's time to turn to self-compassion. If feelings like this persist chronically, it's important that you speak to a professional.
6. Go Outside
Stepping outside and getting some sunshine can be a simple reset if you are feeling overwhelmed and tired. Find a spot where you are around some trees and away from the sounds of traffic, as traffic noises have been proven to worsen feelings of anxiety and depression, whereas bird sounds have been linked with improved mood and relaxation. Close your eyes for at least 60 seconds and listen. Once you have calmed down, you can look around and take in your surroundings. Notice the things around you and the smells. Being mindful in nature can ease your symptoms and help you get back at it with a renewed sense of clarity and drive.
7. Watch a Video
Hop on YouTube or Google and search for a video of someone else doing whatever it is you might like to do. If you want to motivate yourself to make a meal, go on YouTube and search for cooking videos. Although it seems silly, watching someone else doing what it is that you want to do can help you feel less alone in the task, and for some people, that can majorly help them get started. This is a modification of a practice called body doubling in which two people work independently on their own tasks but together. This is a self-help practice used by people with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence. If you have a friend that can body double with you, that works too! Although sometimes no one is available, so a video of someone else doing work can help you get started.
Whatever the reason you are struggling with low energy and lack of motivation, it's a good idea to talk to a qualified mental health counselor if it is a persistent issue. It's important to know why it's happening in order to figure out how to cope with it, and a mental health counselor can help you figure things out. It might also be important to rule out an underlying medical issue with a doctor.
Disclaimer: The information provided here is not intended to be used for diagnostic purposes or in place of professional help. It is intended for self-help purposes, and you are always welcome to take or leave any pieces that do not feel helpful to you.